what’s the date today?

I’m at home right not.  I mean I’m making this at home.  I feel bad about the situation of other people and how fortunate some of us are.  I feel bad about how different the gap is between the rich and the poor.  I’m bothered by the thought that there are some kids in some part of the country (or maybe in our own cities) that are eating from the leftover food from the trash, sometimes they even consider those who find their so called meal as lucky.  Not that I’ll tell you what most mothers would tell you when you don’t eat your food.  “Think of all the hungry children in the world!” – I could almost hear my own mother saying to me as I struggle to swallow spoons of rice when I was small.  I feel rather frustrated, I feel that there’s nothing I could do.  It’s a job that’s impossible, if it wasn’t don’t you think it should have been solved years ago???

 

I was taught that to solve a problem, you have to identify the root cause of the problem. In this case, people don’t have their own livelihood and they don’t have any education to do so.  I know there are public schools that offer free education but that too is still expensive to them. The more I think about it the more I feel obligated to study harder and do good in school and at the same time have that sense or responsibility for them- since we all had our equal share of chances to actually be born with a family that is able to provide the daily needs of the members of the family.  I  was just lucky. But of course that doesn’t mean I owe them anything. But you will have a feeling of sympathy for them.

 

Going back to the root of the problem, I think in reality they do have options they just don’t know how to manage their life—just them same with me. But in this case they don’t really have a choice they have to otherwise they’ll just end up dieing under layers of garbage.

 

Another problem I find is that even though some of us have education, we don’t get that good a quality of it.  It makes us unqualified for whatever profession we would have in the future.  It’s actually very frustrating that the would be good teachers—great teachers are studying nursing instead of having their own profession. Not that I despise the young and even those who has already earned their degree to still take up nursing – I mean who could blame them! It’s way better than the other jobs they could have and also stable. In fact I think my family is better than how it use to be now that my mom is a nurse.

 

That’s probably the reason why I don’t really think there’s anything anyone of us could really do about it.  We all have our little rat race to face and our personal problems to face in this world.

 

When I was young, I use to want to work in Africa like what anjolina Jolie did in that movie “beyond borders”. But as I grew older, I naturally become more selfish (and don’t want to change-its f*cking normal btw) and figure that it’s not my fight. No matter how many sacks of rice we send them it will eventually finish. And then they starve again and die each day. Either we just wait and face the depressing fact that there’s nothing we could do.  Cause if there was the world wouldn’t do it anyway or allow it for that matter due to “health reasons”.

 

For me, it all boils down to God. Where are you when all these people die? Were you there? You tell me that the God who you believe in (referring to Christians) is merciful because no matter how I will mock him He will not kill me. It seems to me he hasn’t done anything and everything else is out of circumstances and luck. If there is such a system and a God it certainly doesn’t show the kind of God that is depicted. Or maybe my disappointment with God is my disappointment of who I want God to be? I’m just upset with all the cruel things that’s happening in the world. And I know that not even God would help them. It’s just sick.